The Long Journey Home Review (Cubed3)

imageDeveloper: Daedalic Studio West
Publisher: Daedalic Entertainment
Played on: PC
Release Date: May 30, 2017
Time Played (Steam): 15.1 hours
Played with: Steam Controller
Paid: $0 (Key provided for review)

Randomness in games is an excellent method of promoting custom story generation. The fact that nearly everyone will have an experience that is at least marginally unique means that there’s always something new and interesting to talk about that many players may have never seen or heard of. That’s the goal with The Long Journey Home, a rogue-lite space game that channels FTL: Faster Than Light and No Man’s Sky into a challenging, galaxy-trotting, survival experience.

Read the full review here.

An Ode to Plague Road (GameSpew)

PlagueRoadTitle.pngDeveloper: Arcade Distillery
Publisher: Arcade Distillery
Played on: PC
Release Date: May 23, 2017
Time Played (Steam): 2.3 hours
Played with: Steam Controller
Paid: $0 (Key provided for review)

Come and sit down; I’ve a tale to tell,
Of a game whose mechanics were boring as hell.

It was quite the looker; the work put in showed,
Yet no joy was present while travelling Plague Road.

The menus seemed like those for mobile devices,
As though the game had an identity crisis.
It seemed to be built to be played on the go,
Where perhaps the repetitiveness wouldn’t show.

Instead, it was ported, so haphazardly,
To Vita, PlayStation 4, and also PC.
I found all too quick did monotony creep,
And before long, the game had me falling asleep.

Read the full article here [GameSpew]

Sssnakes Review (Cubed3)

Developer: EnjoyUpGames
Publisher: EnjoyUpGames
Played on: Nintendo 3DS
Release Date: June 2, 2016
Paid: $0 (Key provided for review)

Snake has existed in one form or another for around 40 years, now, so it would be unsurprising if the classic “eat things to grow longer” formula had worn out its welcome by now. Evidently not, as Sssnakes seeks to add more to the game than just a few extra consonants in the title. Featuring a wealth of stages, new game mechanics, and colourful, updated visuals, the question remains: is it better to leave the classics untouched?

Read the full review here [Cubed3]

NEO AQUARIUM: The King of Crustaceans Review

355240_20170318213820_1.jpgDeveloper: Nussoft
Publisher: AGM PLAYISM
Played on: PC
Release Date: June 8, 2015
Time Played (Steam): 62 minutes
Played with: Xbox 360 Controller
Paid: N/A

NEO AQUARIUM: The King of Crustaceans is a game about cock-fighting with sea creatures.  Did I mention they’re armed with lasers?  Well, they are.

Now, chances are those sentences elicited one of two responses: an open-mouthed, “Um, WHAT?!?!”, or a smirk, followed by, “Now this, I’ve got to see”.  As you may have guessed, I fell into the latter camp.  However, I quickly discovered that NEO AQUARIUM’s scattershot, nonsensical ideas extend far beyond its basic premise.  Its gameplay, controls, and even performance are all over the place, making for an often chaotic, unpredictable experience.  For this reason, I find it all the more surprising that the whole thing is so painfully mundane. Continue reading

The Architect Review

375420_20170110203638_1Developer: Spooky Star
Publisher: Spooky Star
Played on: PC
Release Date: June 4, 2015
Time Played (Steam): 2.4 hours
Played With: Mouse & Keyboard
Paid: $0 (Key provided by promoter)

Where does one start with a game like The Architect?  In all honesty, sitting down to write this review is just giving me traumatic flashbacks to the displeasure that was this game.  I wish I had something witty or insightful to say about it, but nothing’s really coming to mind.  The music’s okay…I guess?  At least, it would be, if there was more than a handful of compositions available.  What I’m trying to say is that this could get messy.  The unfortunate thing is that this is my first time doing an “official” review, where I was actually provided a key by someone promoting the game.  If this is a sign of things to come…oh boy. Continue reading